What do newlyweds argue about
Just starting a constructive dialogue is huge around the topic of sex. But do try to have a conversation about these changes sooner rather than later, sex therapist Kimberly Resnick Anderson previously told HuffPost.
Intervening before the problem takes on a life of its own is key. They put their spouse and marriage first. Figuring out how to divvy up household labor like folding the laundry , cleaning the kitchen, making dinner and doing the dishes in a way that works for both partners can be tricky to navigate for newlyweds, but is essential for the health of the relationship.
And even in same-sex marriages, where traditional gender norms may not play as big of a role, couples still fight about keeping a tidy home. We discuss and agree upon cleanliness standards, which is very important so that a household standard can be agreed upon that both can follow. Navigating the holidays during your first year as newlyweds can be fraught.
Neither of you wants to give up this special time with your families or break long-standing traditions, but ultimately, sacrifices have to be made. Whether you lived together before the wedding or not, after the nuptials, there will likely be some new organizational projects for you two to tackle. One of you will want to have kids and the other might not want kids ever. There will be arguments on this until one of you just decides to give in and agree with the other.
Money is one of the most important parts of marriage. One of you will be a saver and other an incautious spender. Also there can be money issues because it is your early months of marriage and you have just begun your life together. Financial disagreements are bound to happen till the two of you learn to manage your expenses. Newly wed couples tend to hide a lot of their feelings for the sake of love and also to avoid fights.
However, what happens in this case is that your partner will end up assuming things about you and there will be a miscommunication. And gradually, it will turn into arguments. These are some of the most common arguments that every newly-wed couple goes through. And now that you know almost every couple faces this, it is all normal and okay.
Such arguments in fact will help you understand your partner better and your relationship will just evolve.
If you pack your days, nights, and weekends immediately following your honeymoon with social events, you're avoiding the void. Staying busy is not what you need. You need time for quiet, inactivity, and stillness. In this calmer space, you can connect more authentically with not only yourself but also your partner.
Spending a Sunday lazily reading the newspaper on your new couch can be more marriage strengthening than racing from brunch with a gang of friends to tennis with another couple to dinner at your parents' house. When newlyweds give themselves privacy to simply be together in their first months of marriage, a cocoon builds up around them.
Many couples report a reigniting of grand passions between them. Having made a lifelong commitment to each other, you may experience new and deeper feelings of connection—engulfing, crazy-in-love, bordering-on-obsession engrossment with your spouse. You're opening yourself up to feel the long-term-commitment place in your brain that's newly lit up like a pinball machine. Day by married day, the high of your wedding grows into deeper, stronger, and steadier feelings of family and forever.
By tuning out the world and focusing so intensely on each other, you're getting to know yourselves in your new roles as married partners. So enjoy this sweet time of cocooning, just the two of you, and remember that it's vital in building a strong foundation for your family. Whether it erupts while you're still on your honeymoon or as you unpack into your new shared home, "the first big fight," says Lesli Doares, marriage coach and author of " Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage, " "can be very frightening for a couple.
But bickering for the first time since you tied the knot is all but inevitable. You're not used to giving notice when you leave your apartment for a quick run to the corner store or to take a time-consuming yoga class at your local studio. But once you wed, says Greer, you have to be accountable to one another about your comings and goings. So while you may once have enjoyed a night out with the girls without checking in first with your partner, now you want to inform one another about your time apart so the other person can make plans accordingly.
Greer suggests creating a calendar where you can write down your individual and joint schedules and that you can reference when one of you needs to know what's going on. Spending major moolah together could give you a rush or a real scare. Making room for each other in this way will help create the interdependence necessary for a successful marriage. The thought of divorce may be the furthest thing from your mind in the weeks or months after you get married.
But at some point down the road, after the honeymoon, Doares warns the "D" word can creep into your inner vocabulary when your partner does something to hurt or disappoint you in a major way, or even as you encounter the normal challenges involved in adjusting to marriage.
The more your expectations are challenged, the more likely you are to question whether it is all worth it. As hard as it may be to accept, "recognize that this is perfectly normal," Doares says, and, more importantly, doesn't signal an inevitable split. True, you won't be the center of attention the way you were leading up to the wedding, but people are still going to have a lot of questions after the honeymoon. Prepare your answers or non-answers to the following daily inquiries:.
Never feel like you have to share more than you're comfortable with. After all, choices like whether and when to have kids are personal, and if you want to keep them private that's entirely okay.
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